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Thursday, 09 July 2009

  • I hate it when the panic attacks come back. It makes me feel even more insecure and also like a failure. Because I thought I had gotten over all this and it seems that I haven't. Fuck. Can't you give me a break sometimes? Please?

Thursday, 14 May 2009

  • Day 2 - London

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    Today is my second day in London and it is still grey outside but at least it isn't raining. It's about 10pm right now and I'm in the hotel room writing this email on the Linux version of Word before sending it so we can conserve our internet time. (Yay for being a cheap asian!)

    Last night I had a really hard time falling asleep because the hotel room was hot and we couldn't figure out how to work the AC unit (until earlier today). So my bed is beside the window and I had it open and all night I could hear sirens, drunk people, and cars! Not to mention the fact that my mom, dad, and brother all snore really loudly. So around 3am I woke up my dad to get his earplugs so I could block out all the sound. I finally fell asleep around 4am but had to wake up again at 8am.

    When I woke up I was really tired but I went downstairs for breakfast anyway. The dining place in the building is in the basement because the Comfort Inn we're staying at is actually a few renovated old townhouses next to each other. The breakfast was a continental one so I had a croissant, some canned fruit, a hard boiled egg, and a cup of tea. The rest of the group with us (my cousin Annie's mom and 5 of my dad's high school friends/spouses) decided to go to Buckingham Palace to see the changing of the guards at 11am. But my mom knew I was really tired and let me sleep in for a couple more hours. I didn't know till I woke up that the rest of my family had stayed with me too.

    After getting up and changing, we went on the Tube (subway) to go to a place called Portobello Market. It's this road that is sort of like Kensington Market and is full of vintage and modern stores, restaurants, and etc. It's a really cool place and I actually found shoes that FIT MY FEET! Which is exciting because shoes never fit. Unfortunately when I had to go up a size, they were a bit big still. =(

    I did buy a new purple scarf though. It was pretty. I liked a lot of the stores but they were pretty pricey.
    After Portobello Market, we went to a place called the Liberty which is an old London Department store. Rather like Holt Renfrew's. '(I saw a leather notebook for 30 pounds. That's ridiculous.) My mom was looking for a fabric covered one she got 15 years ago but they weren't there anymore.


    Despite the high prices, the building itself and the products it sold were fabulous. It was set in a huge 6 story wooden building with all the original carvings and everything. I appreciate nice architecture.

    For lunch we went to a place called “Chez Fred's” which sold overpriced sandwiches. The waitress forgot to bring us 5 pounds in our change and didn't even apologize when she brought it back. Even when we asked for a box to take away some food, it never came (we asked three times.) Bah.

    After lunch we hopped back onto the tube and went to the British National Museum. Admission is free and we wandered through the Egyptian, Greek, Roman, and Medieval English exhibits. Everything was wonderful.

    Finally we went back to our hotel to rest a while and to see if the rest of the group returned. I took a shower and the 4 of us went to an Indian Restaurant around the corner for dinner. It was the first Indian meal I've enjoyed. My lamb tikka wasn't spicy so it was perfect for my weak tastebuds.

    The one thing I've noticed while I've been here is the fact that whenever you asked for water they give it to you in bottles and you spend a lot of money buying water. =_= We spent at least $28 Canadian on water today...

    I'm relying on my own water bottle from now on.

    I also got in contact with the Xso guy from France and I'll be playing some players at his place on Sunday when we go to France. I'm really excited! Apparently the best player in France is going to be there. >_<

    As for my stomach, I'm feeling better but I'm still cautious about what I'm eating. I'm careful about the amount I'm consuming but tonight I finally finished one whole meal. =)

    That's about it for now. More stories to come!

    PS. I've had to take the tube 4 times today. I think it's helping me get over my fear of subways. However, the escalators are really steep and long. Like a 45 degree angle. >_<

    PPS. The toilet paper here chafes like to other. It feels like cheap paper towel.


Sunday, 26 April 2009

  • I realize that I should actively strive towards my goals and yet I don't because I'm the only one holding myself back.

    I realize that I should try to get out of the house more often.

    I realize that I want to cut my hair short so I might be able to look at myself and feel a little more confident.

    I realize that there are many things which I want but will never have. However, they are things that I don't actually need so I should be grateful for that.

    I also realize that there is a spider on the ceiling and that it frightens me.

Friday, 10 April 2009

  • This is for you Jill. So you know why I was upset on Twitter. (I couldn't type all this in 140 characters)

    Well you know how Darwin, Stuart, Allan, etc. all dickride Chris?
    and by that I don't mean in the ltieral sense of course. But in how they compete to spend time with him, they tell me how much they want to have sex with him etc.
    Well today I was trying to get into my locker and Darwin blocked it and said he wouldn't move unless he could spend time with Chris and I kept saying no (he continued to bargain down the amount of time.
    And then when Allan and Stuart were there, they argued over what they could do to get him to come pick me up

    So Stuart said, "What if I punch you in the face?"
    And then it led onto Darwin saying
    "What if we rape you?"
    And I was really offended and disgusted that he went that far.

    I told him that it was a really vulgar comment, but he brushed it off by just saying he was kidding.

    I replied by saying it was a lewd suggestion and both he and Allan said "Well it's not like we'd actually do it" and "It was a what if question."

    I am still mightily disturbed though. Friends don't rape friends or even joke about it. WTF?!

Wednesday, 08 April 2009

Sayuiri

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    • Name: Sayuiri
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